Six reasons why Chipotle is actually Bae

I love Chipotle. If I had the money, and the patience to wait in the long line that often stretches out the door every day, I would eat it for multiple meals each day. I’m married, but Chipotle is Bae. Chipolt-bae if you will.  Five reasons why Chipotle is actually Bae: 1. It’s (relatively) healthy.  Chipotle’s…

Poop storm ruins PA teen’s Sweet 16 party

A sixteen-year-old girl from Pennsylvania had a crap-tacular Sweet 16 party.  Fox 29 in Philadelphia reported that the teenager’s May 17th birthday party turned into a poop storm. Teen girls’ parties usually go to the left because of drama, but this time it was a literal poop storm. Joe Cambray said his stepdaughter Jacinda’s party was…

Leonardo DiCaprio is turning in to Orson Welles

Photographic Evidence:  It’s not exactly a bad change…but it’s just a little unsettling. Mostly because it seems like Leo is experiencing a middle aged spread. And if he’s experiencing a spread, it means he’s middle aged, which means that I will be middle aged one day.  With a single picture, Leo has made me…

Why does everyone hate the heel of bread?

 Why does everyone hate the heel of bread? There is a vile act of discrimination that takes place in kitchens across the nation. Every day, thousands of heels on thousands of loaves of bread are passed over for their less crusty counterparts. Some heels are thrown away. Others face a much worse fate of…

How to be a sucky individual

How to be a sucky individual  You want to the the center of the universe. Other people’s feelings don’t matter, even if you pretend that they do. You pretend give zero bothers about what people think of you, but you actually take a lot to heart. You don’t care about common courtesy. You have disregard…

Happy Taxmas

Happy Taxmas It’s the most wonderful time of the year…Taxmas season is upon us! Well it’s upon me at least. Taxmas is that glorious time of the year when, if you were a good boy or girl and didn’t owe him any money, Uncle Sam leaves money in your bank account. Really, it’s money that…