How to be a sucky individual
You want to the the center of the universe. Other people’s feelings don’t matter, even if you pretend that they do. You pretend give zero bothers about what people think of you, but you actually take a lot to heart. You don’t care about common courtesy. You have disregard for propriety. You only care about your own needs.
If any of the above describes you, it’s pretty clear that you’re in the way to becoming a sucky individual.
Do you want to be a sucky person? Here are some tips:
1. Make every conversation about you.
Don’t listen to people for the sake of hearing them out. The minute the conversation veers from you, find a way to bring it back.
2. Never admit that you’re wrong. When you make a mistake, pretend that it wasn’t a mistake and try to change the subject when you’ve been proven wrong. Another extremely effective tactic is to rewrite history and pretend like you had the correct view all along.
3. Destructively criticize. Rip anyone who doesn’t agree with you to shreds.
4. Don’t ever consider the other side of the story. The way that you think and feel about everything is correct. Others’ opinions are wrong and their experiences are invalid.
5. Always play the victim. When people disagree with you it means that they don’t want to see you succeed in life.
6. Talk way more than you ever intend listen. Know that when you speak, others are hanging on your every word. When you aren’t talking, people are waiting with bated breath to hear what you have to say. Don’t disappoint them.
7. Have all the answers. You know all. Sway ain’t got the answers. You do.
8. Don’t validate others. It doesn’t matter what someone else has managed to accomplish, it will never meet your high standards.
9. Use your emotions as weapons. Get irrationally angry or inconsolably sad and hold others responsible for making you feel that way.
10. Demand respect, but never give it. Everyone else needs to get on your level.
11. Don’t trust anyone. Everyone in the world is trying to take advantage of you. Protect yourself.
Maybe you’ve read this and are like
because I couldn’t/wouldn’t/shouldn’t be encouraging people to actually be sucky. You’re right. I’m being thoroughly sarcastic to make a point.
My point is this: From time to time we all act like sucky people and we have to check ourselves (or be checked by those who care about us). But there really are people out there who are sucky individuals.
Maybe it was hard for you to find humor in this post because you realized that you might be a sucky person. It’s ok.
The take home message is that sucky people care only about themselves and have little regard for others. It’s easy to change. Stop being so self-focused and work to understand how others think, even if you disagree with them.
You don’t have to be a sucky person anymore.
The Armchair Commentary 