The accidental stay at home wife/mother

The accidental stay at home wife/mother

I have a confession to make: I never intended to be a stay at home wife/mom. Staying at home has never been my goal; it’s just how things worked out for me.

I got married before my sophomore year of college. The husband and I were both on scholarship, so he only worked so that we could have a little bit of extra money and to make sure our expenses were covered during the summer.

I worked for one summer and eventually started a job that I was at for three years where I worked on projects from home most of the time.

I’ve worked at a job where I had set hours and had to leave the house for less than two years (cumulatively) of my 9 year marriage. The other seven years I’ve spent at home either by myself or taking care of kids.

I’ve always felt sort of guilty, in a way, about my lifestyle. I know a lot of women who have to work to help support their families and haven’t had the option to ever stay at home even though it’s been a lifelong dream. Frankly, I could take it or leave it. I’ve never wanted to be a stay at home anything. The Husband never expected me to be a stay at home anything. Both of our mothers worked for our entire upbringing. Pretty much all of the women in our respective families work. I had no grid for a stay at home wife/mom except for I Love Lucy.

Don’t get me wrong; I really enjoy my lifestyle. I like being able to pursue my interests and passions with few constraints. I like being at home with The Girl. I’m not frustrated or bitter; it’s just not a thing for me. If I could work a job (preferably from home or in a super-relaxed office culture where I chose my hours) and make decent money, I would be perfectly happy. I’m also not trying to humblebrag or throw shade; just sharing my life and how I feel about it.

Even though this life isn’t what I had mapped out, I’m really enjoying the ride.