Here is a late night random ramble/rant/stream of consciousness

Here is a late night random ramble/rant/stream of consciousness

I’ve been detoxing, so I’ve been super drained and haven’t had the energy to write. What little energy I have has been spent taking care of The Girl and watching the Royals win.

I was gonna reblog a post from one of my friends, but I decided to rant and be random. It’s not all gonna be about baseball. I apologize for typos and poor grammar. This might be kinda real. No offense to anyone if it gets too real. I’m not targeting, but maybe if it hits too close it might be time to take stock.

The Royals being in the MLB postseason is so surreal to me. I’m a Pittsburgh Steelers and Kansas Jayhawks (basketball) fan, so I know what it’s like to see my team win big. But the Royals haven’t won anything other than the 1985 World Series in my life.

I have tickets to the American League Championship Series game on Saturday in Baltimore. Living on the East Coast, I didn’t think I would get to fully participate in #BlueOctober and I was bummed out. But now they’re playing Baltimore. I would love if I could see them at a postseason game in Kansas City, but this will do.

There’s no crying in baseball, but my eyes have sweated three different times this postseason.

Seeing George Brett’s face when the Royals win big gives me life.

Other things that give me life:

*Sushi
*Steak
*Meat in general
*Downton Abbey
*Clever quips

What doesn’t give me life:

*Anything to do with getting stuck with a needle, though my labor and delivery kinda ended that.
*Catheters
*The horrendous itching feeling after an epidural/Cesarian numbing medication wears off
*Traffic
*Smelly farts

I’ve not attended there regularly in three years, but it kinda gets to me when people throw shade at my home church (with their words). I like to give the benefit of the doubt and think the best of what I can about certain comments (that I see REGULARLY and not just tonight) because they usually come from people that I like. But I gave almost a decade of my life building it…and even things that have validity are often put forth in a way that kinda feels crappy. If it bugs me I know my friends who are still there prolly feel worse.

I wish that Christians wouldn’t be so critical of other Christians and churches.

I admit that I have to fight bitterness because I’ve had leaders and church members not be very Christlike toward me. I’ve witnessed a lot of un-Christlike things from people who think they’re holy, but make a point to be awful to other believers who don’t agree with them. Like who the heck goes on a church’s Facebook page and acts up?

I’ve witnessed so many church splits and have seen so many people plot against other believers. It’s so sad.

I wish that Christians could master the art of leaving a church in peace. Even when there are things that you think are wrong. Even when you feel that you or others have been wronged. Just leave in peace. If you can’t say anything positive, don’t say anything.

It bugs me when people know they dead wrong but try to spiritualize it. Gossiping but couching it in a prayer request. Throwing shade, but masking it as a concern.

Some of y’all who know me for real probably think you know what I’m talmbout, but really it just brings up stuff that I keep on seeing and it sucks.

The problem is that I know I’ve been guilty at some point…

I don’t have the gumption to throw out and out shade or call people and their crap on social media. Or perhaps it’s that I have too much gumption to do so.

It bugs me when people do stuff that is detrimental to my friends.

I want to think the best of people, but given the type of work that I’ve done over the past ten years, I see the worst of people.

Sometimes people suck.

Who kidnaps and kills children? Who thinks any kind of cruelty is ok? Who likes to steal? I understand people who steal because their kids are hungry, but to steal stuff right out of people’s home or whatever?

I should be sleeping, but I’m wide awake.

I’m becoming a poor speller. Autocorrect and spell check have caused me to not really have to think about how words are spelled. It bugs me.

I take a perhaps strange level of pride in doing housework. It’s a new thing. I think that nesting hadn’t stopped for me.

Once, several years ago, I had been sick for a long time and only made an effort to keep the front of my house clean. My bathroom was AWFUL. Like horrible. I think I even stopped using it. It was almost Hoarders level. Looking back, I don’t know why The Husband didn’t clean it since bathrooms are actually his job. Anyway, some friends house sat for me and I told the one staying in my room not to even go in my bathroom because we didn’t get to it in our cleaning before we left.

When I came home, my friends had cleaned it up for me. I was so thankful. But it was also kind of embarrassing because I’m sure they probably still think I’m a disgusting person.

I don’t know why I told that story. But I’m not disgusting like that. I was going through a hard time with my health (looking back, I think it was exhaustion because I was working nonstop). It was humbling for them to have done that for me.

Maybe the point is that real friends will love you and care for you even when they see the less than glamorous aspects of your life and they won’t publicly expose your junk, but quietly help you to get better.

My bathroom had never looked so horrible. We would have cleaned it up, but I think that God allowed things to happen that way to teach me a lesson in humility.

The world would be so much better in a lot of ways if we exercised humility.

End rant.